Ahoy!  All ye lubbers!  Aye, me next account of the Black Dragon pirate-making exploits be a bit tardy, but sink and scupper me!!, pirating is busy business, to be sure!!

As I was saying, Ruby, the Black-Hearted and her crew had more in store for us lubbers.  Musket practice being completed, we were now ready for the real thing!  Ruby agrees and prepares us for a suprise attack on an unsuspecting ship.  “Muskets in hand now, an’ all ye drop down to deck an’ keep down ’til I tells ye to fire!!”  The tourist cruise ship coming alongside was ripe pickings.  “Ready”, Ruby barks,”now steady on, mates, steady on….and FIRE!!”  Up we pop with appropriate pirate hullabaloo, musket-waving and shouts of surrender or be boarded!!  Then….KA-BOOM!!!  The Dragon fires a broadside.  KA-BOOM!!!..another and another.  We shout with victorious glee.  ”A good-natured lot!”, Ruby observes, as our high-seas victims wave, smile and aim all cameras our way in retaliation.  “Methinks, they be giving up their ship in a neighborly manner!”, Ruby coos. “Aye, still the guns an’ stow ‘em, me hearties!  Good work, good work!”  We are all grins being amply congratulated by our Queen Ruby.  “Ye be close t’ bein pirates, so look lively! look livey!, it’s off to the paints and brushes.  We be helpin’ ye to look the part, as well!”

As I make my way aft, I’m all agog or is it agrog, at deciding if I want a mustache, a skull and crossbones or an English rose!  Look in again, mates!  Painting and swordfighting to come! 

“Aye,”  Pirate Queen Ruby bellows to the lubbers on board, “Ye say ye want to be a pirate?  Well, to be sure, a pirate must be on t’ lookout for ships loaded with treasure to plunder.  What be a pirate’s first weapon of choice?  Arrrr, speak up now…anyone?…use yer noggins, mates!”

What I wondered? A knife? A sword? Grog breath? What, what, what?  Staring at the lubbers with a sly grin, waiting for our response, she finally informs us, “Why, a musket, o’ course!  Now, all hands here, and pick yer musket.  It be time for practice.”  Most all of the serious pirate-wanna-be’s swarmed the musket cache as Ruby handed out weapons of mayhem.  “Now, we load”, Ruby informs, “an’ when I say ready, muskets up! When I say aim, pick yer target!  When I say fire, well….fire!”  All lubbers, nerves taut, listen for Ruby’s command.

“Ready?” Ruby asks, “Now…aim at someone taller….fire, now…someone shorter…fire…someone older….fire…younger…fire!!”  The muskets, spurting blasts of water, hit intended victims, and frankly, anyone within range.  Queen Ruby, bless her black heart, gamely took a barrage of water-fire.  With shrills of laughter, it was obvious this kind of musket practice was soppy-jolly fun! 

“Aw, right, aw right,” Ruby acquiesces, “ye be showing proficient pirate-like form!  Now any pirate worth ‘is or ‘er salt will clean up after battle!  What four o’ ye volunteer?”  At least 20 hands went up.  The chosen approached Ruby with cherubic smiles.  “Ere ye go, mates, a mop fer each, now follow me, and swab the deck!”  These were the happiest swabbers likely ever seen on the seven seas, to be sure!  Mom, trouble getting your little pirate to tidy his quarters at home? Try this! It might just work!

Keep yer eyes on t’ blog, mates, for the next round of pirate-making-fun!! 

I be tellin ye of me voyage aboard t’ Black Dragon!  So listen up!  I were a landlubber now turned pirate!

Aye, it were a beauteous eve upon the Laguna Madre as we landlubbers eyed the Dragon making for the pier to take on her passengers, I being among them.   Excited!!  To be sure!  From her perch on the bow, Pirate Queen Ruby asks the lubbers waiting below:  “Ere ye ready to board ship?  In pirate lingo an aye for yes, a nay for no”  We gave her a somewhat subdued aye!  “Ere ye ready to become pirates?”  I heard myself give a resounding “AYE” in company with my fellow-lubbers.  “Cap’n Andy, we be ready to board ship!  Don’t know if we can make pirates out ‘o this lot, but we’ll do our best!” 

Aye, board, we did, to a rousing sea chanty and a hearty welcome by Cap’n “Black Andy” Salinas himself, and Art the Thief, or Brigand, or Rogue.  I was so busy taking in all in, I missed the proper introduction.  Before choosing our spot on the ship, we were led to the treasure chest for a photo op. with Cap’n Salinas.  A handsome Captain, I might add, though he had that “plunder” look about him.  None-the-less, my photo showed that “carried away” look in my eyes! 

As we lubbers got settled, Ruby and her assistant, Flea Bite laid down the laws of the ship to all.  Obey, or be shark bait!!  All eyes wide and heads nodding in submission, we were ready to cast off!  AAARRRGH!  More to come on how this lubber wench became a pirate! 

Black Dragon resumed operation today with a successful foray into the waters of Laguna Madre, and returned laden with loot from several sacked villages and booty from helpless merchant vessels. Captain “Black Andy” Salinas reported no damage to the Dragon and no casualties to her crew of riffraff and adventurers. Our apologies to our victims for any unnecessary pillaging and destruction, as well as the gratuitous slaughter, but these ladrones are uncontrollable when their blood is up.

It’s time we introduced a few of the cutthroats that make up our pirate crew. Their photos tell the tale of lives of degeneration and low morals. I’d wager that you have never dealt with such human wreckage before now.

The Black Wanton, our nine lb Gribeauval cannon, fell victim to Dolly when the dock supporting her 1600 lbs collapsed. We will raise her from Davy Jones’ locker in a few days, and resume our 1800 hrs bombardment of the vehicles crossing the Queen Isabella Causeway.    

Dolly roared ashore at S. Padre Island around 0700 hours Thursday, apparently liked what she saw, and decided to stay awhile. From a serious tropical storm with winds of 60 mph, she quickly developed into a category 1 hurricane with sustained winds of 80 mph. At this point, she stalled with her eye just off shore and gathered strength. By 1200 hours, Dolly was a full-fledged category 2 hurricane with winds at 100 mph, accompanied by torrential rains coming down sideways. Electric power was knocked out with utility poles toppling like matchsticks, while cell phone service became unreliable. For the next five hours, she battered and tortured the coast relentlessly, until, around 1800 hours, Dolly moved inland.

Throughout this assault, Black Dragon was moored at the Port of Brownsville basin, which has a hurricane ready facility. She suffered no damage except to her sails, which are tattered but in place. Earlier today, Cap’n “Black Andy” Salinas returned her to home port at Pirate’s Landing in Port Isabel, ready to sail. Her pirate crew are hale, hearty and ready for more excitement. When asked if she was apprehensive during the blow, Ruby (the pirate queen) is quoted as saying, “Pirates worth their salt, battens the ship down, fortifies theirselves with grog, and makes ready to ride ‘er out.  That we did! HEH HEH HEH.  Final score: Black Dragon 1 - Dolly 0.”

Electric power has been restored to much of Port Isabel, and a massive effort is underway to complete repairs to the area grid on a top priority basis. The number of utility trucks heading down rte 100 is such that it looks like an armored column heading to the front. Whoever is responsible for this endeavor deserves our admiration and praise. Our pirate store is open and our phones are working. We’ll be running cruises in a day or so. For questions, call 956 943 6283. We’ll report progress as news comes in. 

Pirates do lead exciting lives! Black Dragon, with her captain Black Andy Salinas at the helm, has sought safe harbor at the port of Brownsville in the face of Dolly, a small but treacherous hurricane. Red Ruby and her crew have moved inland and are, no doubt, ensconced in some hurricane watering hole entertaining its patrons with exaggerated tales of bold and violent exploits, while cadging grog and picking pockets. 

Our major concerns are the Dragon’s sails and rigging. Her masts are through-deck and keel mounted and designed to withstand hurricane force winds. Her sails are another matter. Sustained winds of 80 knots may loosen the ties and shred the canvas. We’ll post an update tomorrow. Wish us well!

The lubber’s first hand report on her cruise, promised in the previous blog, will be posted in a few days after we clean it up. I didn’t know that ladies knew those words, much less used them! 

During her first 10 days of marauding and pillaging along the lower Laguna Madre, Black Dragon has spent some time aground on certain of the various shoals that abound in these waters, particularly during extreme neap (low) tides. Cap’n Black Andy Salinas has become pretty adept at freeing her up with the help of passengers and crew. With the engines in gear, Black Andy shouts, “Avast, all hands to port!”, and everyone scurries to one side. He follows with, “All hands to starboard!” and everyone dashes to the other side. He repeats this a few times, the Dragon frees herself, and all hands repair to the “geedunk” for a round or two of Black Dragon grog. Observers on shore and in other small craft, convinced that that the Dragon is manned by a bunch of lunatics, cheer her on. 

If you haven’t visited the live pirate cam (piratescam.com) as yet, do so. Although up and running for only a brief time, and still undergoing tuning and tweaking, it’s been voted one of the top ten cams by Earth Cam for content and interest. At 1800 hours, Ruby the Pirate Queen, fires the shore cannon, sometimes with unanticipated results. Be sure you catch this. Caution: Ruby operates on pirate time, which means she fires it whenever she damn well chooses. Don’t set your watch by it, but she’ll get around to it sooner or later.

We are going to post a passenger’s perspective next. We have selected a spectator at random to recount the cruise in her own words. We’ll post it to the blog tomorrow.   

The Dragon be safe at her home port in Port Isabel.  Aye, safe while docked, but daily she plies the seas with her band of pirates and passengers looking for adventure and plunder!! 

Upon boarding the Dragon for their first voyage all eyes were agog and mouths agape as the new adventurers were greeted by Ruby, the Pirate Queen and Capn’ “Black Andy” Salinas.  As the Dragon cast off, cannons blazing, it proved an experience, to be sure!!  Upon the high seas, there were merrymaking and pirating abounding for young to old to enjoy!!

 After the voyage, Ruby passed on to me some comments from passengers :

“Best time on a boat….EVER!!!”

“I have to do this again!!! said a 7 year old pirate “in- the-making”

One young lad to pirate Riley the Riot..”I’m gonna miss you when I’m gone!”

“This was really entertaining….Thank You!!!”

“We just couldn’t wait to get here and it was well worth the wait!”

So, what’r ye waiting for, ye landlubbers!! HURRY to Port Isabel and board the Black Dragon for a trip ye will never forget!!!  Ye’ll be a pirate yet!! 

Check out the live “Pirate Cam” overlooking THE BLACK DRAGON pirate ship.  Scheduled shots include departures, arrivals, daily cannon fire, fireworks and general shots of the area.

Click Here For Live Cam